In Remembrance of September 11

Ten years ago today, so many lives were lost that we were consumed with sadness. Then we were lifted up by those who sacrificed themselves to save others. In a very intense period of time, we experienced the darkest and brightest side of human being. At that very moment, we had a glimpse into the end of days... as well as the selflessness and unity that we human beings are capable of. It was hatred that brought September 11 to our nation. It was selflessness that brought our nation together. Perhaps, if we all have such kind of selflessness towards everyone, we will have world peace...

May God remember those who sacrificed on September 11. May God heal those who still suffers medically or emotionally from it. And may God heal everyone who are suffering...

Planning to Plan

Last post was a lot of fun to write. It truly represents myself: I have read books, blogs, articles on getting organized, increasing productivity or other areas of self-help. But I often stopped before I took action. As I was trying to show last time, I stopped because I didn't know what to do. I did not know what to do, partly because the mess has been so widely built up, there are everywhere and overwhelming. But it is also because there are so many theories and ideas that I have read, my mind is as cluttered as my desk.

"Baby Steps" / "Snowball" or "Eat Your Frog"?

It is the end of August and in our school district, school has started! This year, in two days to be exact, I will also start getting a little kid-free time since we have signed my little girl up for a mom's day out program in a nearby church for two mornings a week. Lucky me, I know! So, I thought, I should get my act together and work on some organizing projects.

But here is usually when I stop: where do I start?!

Everywhere I look, there is something to work on. How can I keep focus? How do I make sure I do not move on to a new area before finishing one? I have trouble in figuring out how I should approach it. Then, I remembered some time ago, I read an article about monthly decluttering projects. I then think of how I liked the idea of Flylady's Baby Steps, changing bad habits one at a time. Dave Ramsey's "snowball" idea on eliminating debt also makes a lot of sense for decluttering - if you replace "debt" with "clutter" and "personal finance" with "getting organized" in his second paragraph under his Baby Step 2.

So, come back to my original question, where do I start? One common first step with these ideas: make a list and tackle them one by one. Unless I want to follow Flylady's Baby Steps straight, I need to make my own list. Just as I am about to make my own list, SimpleMom's One Bite at a Time - 52 Projects for Making Life Simpler came out! (See, this is why she is SimpleMom and I am MessyWife: I think of making a list and she made a list and made an eBook. Oh well, we are not here to compare.) At my first glance at the title, I thought the idea behind agreed with my plan... So, I clicked on her sample page where she put up her list, hoping that I don't have to make my own - I found the first one on her list was "Eat your frog". I did a little search and found out what that means...

And now, the question becomes: should I eat my frog first or do my baby steps first?

You see, the idea behind Flylady's Baby Steps and Dave Ramsey's Snowball are both on motivation through accomplishing smaller tasks: when you get a no-matter-how-small task done, you have the motivation to do more. On the other hand, Eat Your Frog means to get rid of a task that you have been trying to avoid so you can go on your day without that particular task dragging you down.

So, should I begin with simple tasks or should I do my least favorite task first?

My Irresponsible Life

A Long Overdue Hello

It has been almost two months since I last posted. If you pay attention to really small tiny little details, you might vaguely recall I mentioned that we had a trip out of the country in June. And I would say, if I blog the right way, I should have posted about my leave before my leave, or, at least, shortly after I arrive my destination. But I didn't. I cannot believe it took me so long to blog again!

It's Typical of me...

However, when I come to think of it, it is pretty typical of me. It is kind of a pain to admit (part of the reason why this post is so difficult to write...) but in many many ways, it is so true. I started something with a lot of enthusiasm, plan in my head what I would/should do but, at the end, I did not carry through.


... as a Blogger

When I first start this blog, I thought I would write at least once a week to give myself a little push to declutter. Thanks to Project Simplify, the requirement of a weekly post kept me in check. But, it went all downhill from there... In mid-april, I wrote in a post how I should give myself weekly goals and post about it. It didn't happen. Then, before this trip, I thought I could keep it up better because, in Hong Kong, I have help from the grandparents. I thought about what I could write about while I am not home actually doing the work. But, at the end, I even forgot to just publish a post I have already written to announce my trip and my plan...

... as a Student

I still remember I wrote in a weekly school journal on how I felt I would do better in school if only I could carry through the "study plan" in my head and to stay on track after the initial enthusiastic interest in a subject had passed. I was in seventh grade. I never did much better than studying the day before a test or examination!

... as a Mom

As I became a mother, my behavior did not improve much. In my head, I would like to give my kids some routine (and it would be especially helpful for their sleep when they were babies). But I have such a hard time sticking with anything. I wanted to read to them every day but it would last just a few days. I wanted to take them to the library regularly but I may have taken them once or twice. I would like to teach them some Chinese but it did not happen...

Facing the Truth

In the past, I never think of myself as irresponsible. I always, I thought, accomplished what was asked of me, be it from a friend or a boss. But, perhaps, I just forgot about the times that I have asked for an extension at school or at work because no problem has been caused. And as a mom, it is worse as I have no one else to report to. I could simply delete the task from my list or give myself an extension: if I could not make it to the library or to read a few books, maybe tomorrow, or next week...

Given this background, it is not difficult to understand why my house stay messy. I have no discipline at all! If I could not do the laundry today, I could do it tomorrow. If I could not clear out that counter today, I still have tomorrow. If I could not sort through that box of clutter today, tomorrow is still available!

Is there still a way for me to change? Honestly, I was seventh grade when I noticed my own study problem and I did not change throughout my school years. Is it still possible for me to develop better discipline?

For those of you who are reading my blog, I deeply thank you. I hope I did not depress you. And I am grateful that you read my posts, even though, there is no schedule and no wisdom to share. Thank you for listening.

What do you do when you cannot go online?

Obviously, you are online when you are reading this. But have you experience a time when you cannot? Did you do something about it? How much energy have you invest in it?

Last Thursday, for some unknown reason, I could not get online through my laptop. I found myself trying to go online with my iPod almost immediately. "Well, it worked. So, it was not the ISP, it has something to do with my laptop... " Just like that, I started talking to myself:

"How do I fix this problem with my laptop?"
"I could go online to ask around."
"But I cannot go online!"
"Well, I could use the iPod."
"But the screen is so small!"
"It is better than nothing. Without going online, you don't even know what number to call to have it fixed!"
"Or, you can take it to the Apple store, we heard they have great customer service."
"Drive to the mall? With the little one? Is there another way?"

Living with the small screen of the iPod, I started to search for solutions. I tried a few tips and it was still not working. Then, I began to worry. I did so much online. How do I check my account balance? How about that shopping list that I was going to do online? (Amazon is my new Costco, kind of)

Then, I decided that I would just take it to the store if all things failed. In the meantime, I lived with internet through iPod. I started checking and replying emails on it. Shopping on it. Reading blogs on it.

I found myself did minimal housework but to spend every spare minute on getting my laptop back online, or, to get online through iPod. It is at this point, I realized, how much energy I have put into getting the internet back on my laptop, how much it has affect me, how much I depend on it. Most importantly, how much of an addict I became.

The true problem, then, was not when I could not get online. It is, when I can get online, how much I do get online! It becomes difficult to distinguish when I am getting online to save time and be productive ; or, getting online to pass time. Or, even worse, I maybe getting online to do something useful and necessary (like paying bills or buying toilet paper) but I just simply cannot leave once it's done (like, keep clicking links even after I have read the blogs or facebook updates that I intended to)! It is time for me to admit, if I could have closed that laptop when I should, a lot more cleaning, decluttering, organizing, simplifying, or, simply laundry and dishes would get done.

How about you? Are you addicted to the internet? Or, do you have a self discipline tip to share?

[BTW, the problem was fixed on my laptop. I am unlikely to live with typing a post on iPod... yet.]

Providence of God

You can call me superstitious but I felt like I needed to rethink my post that is still lost. Maybe, it was not supposed to be published... Perhaps, I should have included more pictures. Perhaps, I should have made it brief. Perhaps, I should not have separated the story to a "Part 1", "Part 2",... etc.

Perhaps.

While thinking it through, I thought through the progresses in my home and Providence of God just came to my mind...

A lot has happened since February when I started this blog. I wanted to get my home in shape, as I did every year before this. It has been my yearly New Year Resolution. But this year, I have a few more external motivation. My trip with the kids out of the country in June, leaving my husband in this home alone for about 3 weeks; my desire to serve as a Bible study leader at our fellowship; my youngest one may start going to a little bit of preschool; and the possibility of me returning to work; etc. With all these reasons, and some sort of a time-constraint, I feel like God is putting together something and I imagined that my house would look different before school year end.

Before

After

But it did not happen the way I envisioned. Even though I knew that I, or my habits, could not be changed overnight, I still think that I would be making most of the initiatives and doing most of the work. The truth is, I simply cannot do it by myself.

As a life-long procrastinator, even with the time-constraint, I stopped making progress whenever there was a lack of immediate deadline. There are always some other things to do. Thanks to Project Simplified, I had mini deadlines every week for the month of March and first week of April. Then, I found myself struggling with laundry alone. Just when things come to a standstill, my husband reminded me of my sister-in-law's visit in the beginning of May.

Because of the visit, my husband actually asked me to hire house cleaning. But I was, honestly, really afraid of doing that... They need to find the floor before they clean it, right? But my kitchen floor was a disastrous zone. For this most overwhelming job, I got unexpected help. The mom of my son's best friend and I have only chatted during pickup or drop-off a few times but she offered to help!

All of these work together and I have not even mentioned how many other moms have helped me babysit my toddler so I could get some things done. Now, I can see the floor around my desk and most surfaces in my home are very much cleared. Just like the other mom said, all these things I saw everywhere also cluttered my mind, made me feel overwhelmed. Now that the surfaces are mostly cleared, keeping up is truly easier. True, I still struggle with procrastination and lack of motivation to do housework. But it did not feel like a huge load of weigh on me any more. It was lightening.

Suddenly, I am not so afraid of unexpected visitors (Well, there will still be toys on the floor, but let's be real, kids need to play) All of these progress in my home was not because God has changed me to have better organization skills or ability to work faster (or sleep less!), but because He has provided me with help from people around me, encouragement from friends including those met on the internet and guidance from many wise voices. 

Those were Providence from God.

Blogger Buzz: Blogger is back

Blogger had a technical problem yesterday. Users cannot write, edit or post. They have rolled back to a version on May 11 according to Blogger Buzz: Blogger is back Unfortunately, my most recent post on May 12 is "in the progress of restoring" :(

[ETA: BTW, do you back up your own posts? I haven't, so, I should either rewrite it or wait for it to be restored, which I kind of afraid wouldn't happen... ]


[Added 5/16/11: My lost post is... still missing. On top of that, I cannot reply to comment on this post, very weird! For those who by now wanted to keep a backup of their own blog, I found a smart solution on the forum - you simply subscribe to your own blog and you automatic get an email back up, how simple!]