Frustrated by me

In so many ways, I feel like I fail as a mother. Obviously, there is this messiness problem that this blog is dedicated to. But there are also these many other areas, possibly with the same root cause, that I just cannot seem to do a fair job.


Today, my oldest, the second grader, has a piece of homework that is supposed to be due. He is only half finished with it. It is a project that we could have worked on during the school break but didn't. Now the work has to be cramped into one day. To top it off, he left the necessary material at school. It means that he could not continue the work until tomorrow and tomorrow is the day that he has violin lesson... 


I am totally not happy with my son that he waited to last minute to get it done. But then, what kind of guidance did I give him? None. In fact, I didn't know it was past due until he told me this morning. Well, I did know that he has something to do during the break but I just let it go when he told me he had no homework then. Shouldn't I at least be helping him set small deadlines so he could get it done in time? 


What's worse is that, what kind of example am I giving him? Often times, I do not start dinner until the last half hour. I do not do laundry until someone told me they are on their last piece of underwear. My desk stays as a mess. In fact, I think he just unfortunately got my genes...


Now, with my very own track record, I don't know how I could guide him so that he would not walk down the same path as I did - constantly rushed to get things done therefore everything was either late or finished with fair standard only because it was not done when time was there...


Help!

Binge Shopping... I did it again ~sigh~

For most women, clothing, shoes, and bags, may become irresistible when they saw them on sale. For me, stationary is my thing... 


Last night, I saw copy paper, photo paper, pens and sticky pads would be free at the store for 2 days only, I started trying to figure out how I could find the time to go buy them. Perhaps, for any other person, it would be good money management, for it is (have I said it yet?) FREE. But for me, I've already had several reams of paper at home while I know we use less than one in a year. I could not even remember the last time we actually print photo at home. I also have collected several dozens of pens from such shopping years ago. And I have so many sticky pads that you can find one from any corner in my home.


I used to be so proud of myself that I had never been a shopaholic. I always use the same bag until it breaks to get a new one. I always wear the same pair of shoes except the other one for special occasions. Okay, I admit, I do have a few more... a snow boots, 2 dress shoes, and a sandals that is about to break but still not many for a women, right? And my side of clothing is about the same as my husband's sides. The last time I bought new clothing was about 3 years ago. When people say, "shop less and you'll have less mess". I never thought it applies to me.


Then, I saw the Story of Stuff right after I purchased a few pads of college lined paper for 1 cent each. I started to realized that even cheap stuff come with a price... on other people and on the environment. I start to become conscious with my bargain stationary shopping. Then, it became clearer and clearer to me that I "bargain" shop a lot and my home is stuffed with consumables like detergent, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrushes that we could not use up in the next ten years.


So, for me, it was not good money management. It contributes to my problem. It could even be my entire problem...


I probably will donate the paper to my kids' school. They could put them to good use. But I find the (not even fancy) pens very difficult to let go... 


I have a problem...